I am in the process of drafting a blog entry to outline my thoughts on film and digital photography. Without giving away too much, I believe that the best photographic tool (or any medium) is the one that inspires creativity and growth. I like shooting film, but this has its limitations. Missed opportunities are one. Sometimes I stumble upon a situation that I would love to capture. Yet, the inflexibility of film (often film’s lack of sensitivity to light) prevents me from fulfilling my vision. Many times, I will have to return to the location when the light or other conditions are more favourable. Sadly, this is not always possible, or if I can, the circumstances that made the moment special have vanished.
Even though the conditions are not quite right, often, I will try anyway. My mind tells me to walk away, but my heart tells me to give it a go. Sometimes, I will prop up my camera on something even though I know I cannot use such a slow shutter without a tripod, I do it anyway. Some situations don’t lend themselves well to a particular combination of settings on any camera. With the decades of experience I have in photography, I know what to expect, but when I see the images, the pain is still real. Much of that pain comes from the fact that my preferences are the reason. The thoughts of ‘If I had only…’ begin to fill my mind. Objectively, there is no reason not to shoot digitally, but emotionally there is.
There is a seed for growth in the pain of missing an opportunity. That seed can be explained with a single word acceptance. One element of growth is I must accept the consequences of making an emotional decision. If I am to chose to shoot with film, I must recognize that I am choosing to miss some opportunities. When I step out and decide to shoot with film, each missed opportunity is fated to happen. This thought is empowering. I may not control fate, but my choices influence outcomes. I was not predestined to fail; I chose it. When I truly desire a different result, I am free to choose that as well.
The second element of growth is a renewed focus on what I can control, more specifically, my choices. I have been here many times, and I know that I am going to enjoy shooting film. So, I am choosing to miss opportunities, and whatever pain may result. I am selecting the limitations that come. And lastly, I am choosing to try when the situation appears, and may very well be impossible because what I will lose is insignificant.
The missed opportunities that sometimes arise from shooting with film offer another opportunity. The opportunity to practice focusing on my sphere of control. This sphere includes my choices and acceptance of any limitations or consequences that follow. Trying when things might be impossible is also a choice. It is a choice that reinforces a mindset that is in opposition to my perfectionist tendency only to act when conditions are favourable. Accepting these things are not easy for me because I want everything always to work out. The challenge is to concede that what I want and what reality will provide are two vastly different things.
A crop of the image above